Monday, March 21, 2005 @3/21/2005 10:40:00 PM
Back.. Hmmmm.. Damn sad.. =~~~~~~~~~~~~( my inferiority really suck.. He's disgusted by it.. i don't wanna feel that way.. maybe more like he's disgusted with me.. i'm damn sian la.. damn sian.. super sian... He doesn't really like me for who i am afterall.. just can't meet his expectation.. now i can imagine how ugly i look when i feel inferior (lorraine jst told me).. i can understand why he's disgusted.. sigh.. maybe afterall i still love him more.. i may not give more than he did.. but i love him for who he is.. he may turn into this hurtful idiot when he's pissed.. but i still understand why he's pissed and stuff.. whereas... in his eyes.. i'm this inferior ugly duckling.. damn sad.. damn sad.. thought he can understand.. now i know he don't.. at least lorraine will constantly ask me to walk straight (chest up).. he did his part too by assuring me i look perfectly fine.... but now i know.. he's disgusted.. sigh...... feel rather hurt.. instead very.. i know.. he always tell me not to hide behind him.. i just didn't manage to not hide.. not because i didn't listen to him but that i really feel insecure... he did help me gain back some of my self confidence.. if he did a lil bit more.. i could have walked with mu head up alr.. but now............. i dunno.. hmmm..... i know i'm really at the wrong for not talking.... hurt him........ but i guess.. i'm hurt as well.. i'm selfish.. i'm hurt.. i'm wrong.. i'm not understanding.. sigh...... maybe now i may be more convinced.. he loved me yet........
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach