Sunday, March 13, 2005 @3/13/2005 06:55:00 PM
guess what? i am =( now.. was =~~( yesterday.. hate to say this but i'm a cry baby.. i really don't know if i'm able to handle this.. i'm selfish.. making him unhappy all the time, at the same time making myself unhappy as well.. Am i supposed to be a cheerful n lively girl in everyone's eyes, or otherwise? In my opinion, i'm an unfriendly n negative girl.. confused individual.. i really am.. sigh.. i dunno when he will talk to me again.. for now i guess he really wanna be alone.. it's really hard on him i know.. to be with someone like me.. i'm too used to not talking.. anyone understand? i make him think that i don't cherish this relationship.. i told him "maybe i really don't".. cos i can't be treating him so badly if i cherish it.. i can't be doing all these things that hurt him so much.. he can't even have a "proper" gf.. i'm not a "normal" gf.. i really suck at relationship.. i can't even treat this guy who i love properly.. i really won't blame him if he has to leave to one day.. if lorraine's reading this, she'll confirm say "u ah.. found someone alr.. don't cherish.." that's exactly what he told me too.. so i guess it's true.. i'm selfish.. this is the 2nd time he tells me that.. it feels like this is going no where.. he told me he's fedup.. i guess i'm tired too even though it's my fault.. i really wanna figure this out.. but everytime if i open my mouth.. it's alr too late.. he doesn't wanna talk anymore.. hope our roller coaster ride will soon be =)..
dunno why my eyes, esp the right one, pass keep coming out.. sore eyes or what? think too heaty..
♥ there's not a place
in heaven that we cant reach